“This is not how I want to live my life”

“This is not how I want to live my life”

I thought as I was commuting at 6:52 A.M. this morning. “I’m wilting”, I repeatedly thought to myself.

I find myself in the same slump I ended up in when Flowers and Wanderlust was birthed two years ago. “The point is to feel alive” and not end up living the same day over each time the sun comes up. Why do you work long hours and get minimal sleep? Usually I would say “for the end-of-the-week adventure” or the next weekend trip out of this town. But considering neither of those wonderful happenings have met my joy lately, I often wonder why. It seems that we miss our travel financial cap by a sliver and it’s just enough to jet away. So how do they all drain out of the account and seep into the hands of bill collectors?

We have cut every unnecessary expense out of the budget and I have the entire year accounted for (as usual), but it’s always just right there. I can taste the road trips, smell the mountain air, and feel the wildflowers just at the tip of my fingers. We work all day, come home, eat, and then sleep. When we wake up, we do it all over again. When the paycheck arrives, it leaves in just the same manner for others to grasp it before we have a chance to even total it out.

We keep on this path and continue “to catch up”. Weeks pass, months pass, and then you find yourself at the end of the year feeling like you’re almost caught up. But wait? This feeling never goes away.

SO GO. JUST GO.

Take a risk and take that trip. Your ducks might not all be in a row but that’s okay because they’re always waddling off some way or another. That’s when I bring myself back to earth and become grounded. That’s when I realize there’s more to life than Netflix and that some of our best trips have been when we weren’t sure of the rest, when we didn’t have a plan. Somehow we made the money back up. Somehow.

It always works out. That’s what I have learned.

So I think it is time.

I ask you, please, go on an adventure. Go somewhere new, eat something you’ve never had. 

Make time. Take your kids with you. Do something that doesn’t cost anything. Don’t make excuses and don’t be scared. Take a day for yourself.  

Stop looking forward to the weekend and to next month. Just have fun with it now and every day.


5 thoughts on ““This is not how I want to live my life”

    1. How very true.
      I am currently trying to take my own advice. I guess it is easier said than done but I’m about to pick up and just go somewhere, with my family. We weren’t put here to just work and then die!

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